rubykatewriting (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rubykatewriting) wrote2007-01-08 10:02 am
rubykatewriting) wrote2007-01-08 10:02 am
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This post brought to you by ice chips and water and hunger.
Heh. Del, Del's bro Nah, and I are doing The Lemonade Diet, a.k.a., the Master Cleanse. We decided we needed something to jumpstart our asses back on the right track as well as clearing out all the old shit (HA! I'm funny!).
So Del and I went to Whole Foods Saturday night to pick up the book, the maple syrup (Grade B - must be Grade B), and possibly the ground cayenne pepper. Of course, it's the new year and the holistic section is ALL ABOUT CLEANSING. I swear, fifty-thousandity ways to clear out the ol' bowels and start fresh.
Anyway, so we're standing there, reading the book, when I notice that you're supposed to do this sea salt/water combo and "several elimations will occur." Ominous, no? Del calls me this morning.
Del: "So did you do the salt water?"
Me: "Um, no." GIGGLE. SNERK. "So how many eliminations?" GIGGLE. SNERK.
Del: "FOUR."
Me: "WHEN DID YOU DRINK IT?"
Del: "AT SEVEN THIS MORNING."
Me: Glances at clock. It is only 8:35am. "HOLY SHIT."
Del: "YEAH."
Who knew this diet would be such an adventure? Or that a solid 24 hours of my life would revolve around getting Senna tea (or alternately, Smooth Moves)? We went to three stores trying to find LAXATIVE TEA. Luckily Mr. Lee, Del's daddy, found some Smooth Moves at their Randalls. Laxative tea as the one ring.
So Del and I went to Whole Foods Saturday night to pick up the book, the maple syrup (Grade B - must be Grade B), and possibly the ground cayenne pepper. Of course, it's the new year and the holistic section is ALL ABOUT CLEANSING. I swear, fifty-thousandity ways to clear out the ol' bowels and start fresh.
Anyway, so we're standing there, reading the book, when I notice that you're supposed to do this sea salt/water combo and "several elimations will occur." Ominous, no? Del calls me this morning.
Del: "So did you do the salt water?"
Me: "Um, no." GIGGLE. SNERK. "So how many eliminations?" GIGGLE. SNERK.
Del: "FOUR."
Me: "WHEN DID YOU DRINK IT?"
Del: "AT SEVEN THIS MORNING."
Me: Glances at clock. It is only 8:35am. "HOLY SHIT."
Del: "YEAH."
Who knew this diet would be such an adventure? Or that a solid 24 hours of my life would revolve around getting Senna tea (or alternately, Smooth Moves)? We went to three stores trying to find LAXATIVE TEA. Luckily Mr. Lee, Del's daddy, found some Smooth Moves at their Randalls. Laxative tea as the one ring.
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