This post brought to you by ice chips and water and hunger.

[rubykatewriting]

Heh. Del, Del's bro Nah, and I are doing The Lemonade Diet, a.k.a., the Master Cleanse. We decided we needed something to jumpstart our asses back on the right track as well as clearing out all the old shit (HA! I'm funny!).

So Del and I went to Whole Foods Saturday night to pick up the book, the maple syrup (Grade B - must be Grade B), and possibly the ground cayenne pepper. Of course, it's the new year and the holistic section is ALL ABOUT CLEANSING. I swear, fifty-thousandity ways to clear out the ol' bowels and start fresh.

Anyway, so we're standing there, reading the book, when I notice that you're supposed to do this sea salt/water combo and "several elimations will occur." Ominous, no? Del calls me this morning.

Del: "So did you do the salt water?"
Me: "Um, no." GIGGLE. SNERK. "So how many eliminations?" GIGGLE. SNERK.
Del: "FOUR."
Me: "WHEN DID YOU DRINK IT?"
Del: "AT SEVEN THIS MORNING."
Me: Glances at clock. It is only 8:35am. "HOLY SHIT."
Del: "YEAH."

Who knew this diet would be such an adventure? Or that a solid 24 hours of my life would revolve around getting Senna tea (or alternately, Smooth Moves)? We went to three stores trying to find LAXATIVE TEA. Luckily Mr. Lee, Del's daddy, found some Smooth Moves at their Randalls. Laxative tea as the one ring.

Comments

[random-serious.livejournal.com]

Let us know how it goes, what happens, did it help/ energise/ whtaver. I'm actually curious.

[rubykatewriting.livejournal.com]

I know a couple people managed to maintain their exercise regimen while doing this. In fact, Del's friend Dru actually did her usual cycling classes, but then she's an exercise freak.

I don't know. Tonight, I plan to die. Tomorrow, I'll see, but I hope to do at least thirty minutes every night on the elliptical for the rest of the cleanse.

[briary-flower.livejournal.com]

What the what?

[rubykatewriting.livejournal.com]

Heh. Which part?

[briary-flower.livejournal.com]

1. What is this diet
2. Grade B maple syrup?
3. I don't like this stuff with the poopies. Sounds scary.

[rubykatewriting.livejournal.com]

1. The Master Cleanser, a.k.a., The Lemonade Diet
2. The grade depends on what time of the season it is made. Grade B is the strongest and darkest.
3. It is. I did it for the first and last time this morning. Never again. I'll take my Smooth Moves tea, thankyouverymuch.

[briary-flower.livejournal.com]

It says it gets rid of negative mental attitudes.

So it's a fast? How long are you going to do this? When you fast, doesn't your body go into starvation mode and then you don't lose weight? Be careful!

[rubykatewriting.livejournal.com]

I know. The bullshit postering in the book and on the website is pretty laughable. (Won't feel hunger pains, my ASS.)

At most, I'll do it for 10 days (you can go from 7 - 12 days total), but Del and I are just praying we can last through the weekend. Hopefully what we've heard about the first and second day being the worst will prove true.

When you fast, doesn't your body go into starvation mode and then you don't lose weight?
A brief fast like this shouldn't be a problem and it's not simply a water fast. I'm getting nutrients.

Be careful!
Oh, trust me. Mom is keeping an eye on me.