I'd rather play at hug o'war

It is a fact of every girl’s life: we are taught from birth that what lies between our legs is something that others will try to take by force if we aren’t careful. A friend once posted to her journal: "The idea of all the things I haven't done, the experiences I passed on, because nobody wanted to go with me and it just wasn't the smart/good/safe thing to do by myself,” and this perfectly sums up the inherent problem with our society and its treatment of rape. Everywhere a woman goes, the onus is put squarely on her, all the ways in which she should protect herself: don’t dress a certain way, don’t go out after a certain time of night, don’t go out alone, don’t leave your drink unattended, etc., etc. Never is the responsibility put on the shoulders of the perpetrators themselves. While women join clubs to learn self-defense, men are excused with “boys will be boys” attitudes. It is bad enough to deal with the shame – living in the world we do, it is hard not to internalize the constant barrage of victim blaming and victim blame ourselves – but then we are forced to defend ourselves to those who are supposed to aid us in our search for justice as well as the community at large. Why is it the victims’ responsibility to protect themselves from being attacked? Yes, there is common sense, behaviors everyone should employ in their daily lives; however, even as we call out other countries’ treatment of its women, we are living in a country where a state supreme court decided that once sex has begun, I lose the right to say no and goes so far as to include such laughably offensive language as “re-flower” in the legal opinion.

It is clear rape culture is alive and well. We need look no further than our own campus with the female student who awoke to find herself the unwanted focus of a stranger’s attention in her own home. Or even more horrifying, the recent revelations out of Cleveland, Texas, and the coverage it has received. Even in so-called reputable newspapers like the New York Times, an eleven-year-old girl’s behavior is called into question, that she sexualized herself and thus has no choice but to accept the repeated gang rapes; or, even worse, a resident’s comment that "[t]hese boys have to live with this the rest of their lives.” Yes, these “boys” will have to face their complicity in not just the repeated gang rape of a child but also its glorification in both photograph and film. How about we consider the implications facing the victim? How about the fact this child has not only been brutalized repeatedly but is now living in hiding, away from her family, for her safety? That her family is still getting harassed on a daily basis and is seriously considering a permanent move, again, only as a means of the safety of their family?

It is time that we held those who commit this unspeakable crime accountable. It is time we taught our boys and men that they are the ones who are the best prevention when it comes to rape. It is time our girls and women didn’t walk around with the threat of rape forever hanging over them. I know I’d sleep better.

This was my submission to my university's opinion page. I love that I'm now a Liberal Studies Major, because I can delve into all the ways that women are screwed throughout history so I can then use it to fight against all the bullshit we face every day.

Also, inlovewithnight, I hope you don't mind my reusing your quote again.

For those who find the song of choice in Jill and Kevin's Wedding Entrance Video questionable, they've set up a website with links to the Sheila Wellstone Institute so you can donate to combat domestic violence.

Oh, Alex. First with ER and now this? YOU REALLY DO LOVE ME.

benita_butrell wrote this comment in response to Kira Cochrane's excellent article Now, The Backlash, which discusses the anti-feminist rhetoric (and blatant misogyny) abounding these days, freely and proudly (in most cases).

"It's coming. You don't feel the earth under your feet? I do, and you couldn't pay me to call myself a feminist.

This election has drawn a pretty deep line in the feminism sand (usually found in numerous vaginas). You have HillBillies, who want success for all women as long as they're named Hillary Clinton and consider her failures to represent the failures of all women, and you have the sane feminists who realize there's no law against Hillary running again in four years, who appreciate Barack's voting record even though they may not like him, and who are just as geeked at the thought of a woman vice-president as they are of a woman president. Those feminists are asking some hard questions: why, if this election was about breaking the glass ceiling, is Obama being warned against bringing Sebelius on the ticket? Why aren't feminists rallying behind Cynthia McKinney? Why haven't they embraced Obama on his pristine record involving women's rights, and what kind of feminists (or Democrats, for that matter) would vote for a man like John McCain? And why aren't you getting any answers to any of these questions?

It's never easy to watch the group you identify with and have worked so hard for become a gigantic, self-destructing ball of fuckery, burning out every ounce of respect and pride your group could once say it had. (I'm ex-Army JAG Corps. The knife in my heart STAYS twisted.) But as much as you love your heroes of feminism past and can barely believe whatthebluefuck is happening or why it's happening, there comes a time when you have to move on or risk inertia. HillBillies are too busy enjoying their newfound victim status. They'll lick their wounds and whine about how we're all second-class citizens because some rich white senator ran a shitty campaign and didn't get what she wanted, ignoring the fact that she didn't deserve it, didn't work hard enough for it and took the entire freaking election for granted. Those "feminists" are too tired or too lazy or too stupid to keep going, preferring to end the race under the tree of BAWWWWWWWWW!!!! But the rest of you will move on, muttering, "FUCK that, we've got work to do," and thanking the Great Goddess of Feminism that they're smart enough to 1) learn from the mistakes of others and 2) cut dead weight while bringing new blood along. Feminism isn't trendy (3rd wave), nor is it a burden (2nd wave). Like water, it's ever shifting, changing and powerful and - as evidenced by the Great Wall of Silence between white women and women of color - destructive. I think we'll be looking at a fourth wave in the next decade or so, and I think it'll be the strongest, move diverse wave this country's ever seen. But until more feminists call out their sisters on their shitty, petulant, childlike behavior, this wave is going to stick around for a long time."

This comes on the heels of yesterday's post concerning Pfc. LaVena Johnson and the atrocious handling of her murder at the hands of - most likely - her fellow soldier(s) while serving over in Iraq. She is, sickeningly, only one of 10 similar cases, wherein female soldiers, all sharing the common thread of rape immediately preceding their demise, are determined by the military to be suicides.

art_house_queen and ladypolitik are discussing ways to get her story out there on a national scale and force those in charge to give her family the answers they deserve. At the very least visit the blog linked above (via her name) for contact info for all of the senators and representatives on the Senate and House Armed Forces Committees and call and/or write any of those in your state/district.

Alice Walker endorses Obama. It's a long but wonderful read. My God, I am speechless.

Link from ap_racism

LaLa and I discussing tomorrow night on the phone:

ME: I don't expect to, like, get to shake his hand or anything, but I really can't wait to see him in person. Even if it's from across a room.
LALA: Me too. I just want my far away picture.
ME: Yes!
LALA: That's totally him if you SQUINT!
ME: If you look really closely, that's the outline of his ears! That glint? That's totally his smile!

Then it picked up from there into much loftier conversation, wherein we discussed LaLa's niece and how kids today don't fully grasp – no matter who you're leaning towards – the importance of this election. Not just what’s riding on it, but the fact that the two candidates vying for the Democratic nomination are a black man and a woman is just phenomenal. Less than a century after women were given the vote; less than sixty years after the Civil Rights Movement – yes, that sounds horrible, but we’re still so far from where we should be, even after all of that, I just couldn’t imagine two such candidates finding footing so soon in my lifetime.

Anyway, deep thoughts are going away. Must work now.

musesfool posted this after voleuse posted it in breathe_poetry, and I think musesfool summed it up best with, "it totally rocks my world."

Cloud
by Sandra Cisneros

If you are a poet, you will see clearly that there is a cloud
floating in this sheet of paper.
— Thich Nhat Hanh

Before you become a cloud, you were an ocean, roiled and
murmuring like a mouth. You were the shadow of a cloud cross-
ing over a field of tulips. You were the tears of a man who cried
into a plaid handkerchief. You were a sky without a hat. Your
heart puffed and flowered like sheets drying on a line.

And when you were a tree, you listened to trees and the tree
things trees told you. You were the wind in the wheels of a red
bicycle. You were the spidery María tattooed on the hairless arm
of a boy in downtown Houston. You were the rain rolling off the
waxy leaves of a magnolia tree. A lock of straw-colored hair
wedged between the mottled pages of a Victor Hugo novel. A
crescent of soap. A spider the color of a fingernail. The black nets
beneath the sea of olive trees. A skein of blue wool. A tea saucer
wrapped in newspaper. An empty cracker tin. A bowl of blueber-
ries in heavy cream. White wine in a green-stemmed glass.

And when you opened your wings to wind, across the punched-
tin sky above a prison courtyard, those condemned to death and
those condemned to life watched how smooth and sweet a white
cloud glides.

*

My God, that is so lovely.

I like this take on the whole Rosie/Elisabeth showdown best, and I really wish Rosie hadn't bowed out of her remaining weeks on The View. Yeah, she lost her shit and she got called out on her comments regarding the troops (I don't think she was calling the TROOPS terrorists but our government, specifically Dubya), but fuck. I like ol' Rosie and her crazy, conspiracy theory-loving view of the world. (For the record, I love a good conspiracy theory so I'm totally biased on that front.)

So, yeah. Oh, and Starbucks has Orange Mocha Fraps now, and they are fucking awesome. I had two over the weekend with so much whip cream my tongue got that nasty coating on it. Life don't get much better than that, yo.

kimarama found Pam's AMAZING speech from last week's "Beach Games." Guh. I'm still in awe, hence my new journal title. Pam Beesly owns all, yo.

*

USA Today has the excerpt for Fourth Comings up. I can't wait to see Jess again after all the ups and downs she went through in Charmed Thirds. Hopefully, we'll get to see more of Hope too, because I was so happy to get a better grasp of her at the end of CT.

*

Reason number 23455590 why I am equal parts in love with and skeeved out by Jensen Ackles. Basically: he is such a fucking boy.

I do find it interesting that he confirmed some of the DA on-set gossip by admitting he and Alba did not get along because she was a self-admitted *GASP!* bitch. 'Twas nice of her to call him up and apologize for being unprofessional. I’ll give her that.

Also, in that link, the OP features Alona Tal, who was there at the Asylum con as well, and I really really cringe when she mentions how much the negative reaction from fans hurt her. Not just because it was overblown and irrational and made me despise that part of fandom, oh those that think mainly with what’s between their legs, but because it led to the marginalization of an entire storyline that seemed to be a big part of the plan for season two because Kripke is a spineless, pandering ass. Plus that hideous, pathetic send-off for Jo.

And then she basically confirms for the world that Kripke and co. are, in fact, morons (bigger than even I thought). Heart you, AT.

*

The obligatory fic recs:

Money can't buy you back the love that you had then by sophia_helix
[The Office; characters: Jim, Pam; rating: General; spoilers: through "Beach Games," nothing beyond that; word count: 1,800 words.]
Just as I squeed and jumped (figuratively) in joy over the events of "Beach Games", this fic brought me crashing back to earth with its unflinching eye for the realities of the situation. As much as I have loved the highs – the many, many highs – of season two, culminating in "Casino Night", this has always been a possibility, especially with a Jim who just refuses to learn.

Black and White and Sharp All Over by fox1013
[Brothers & Sisters; Rebecca; rating: PG; summary: except that it's not everything, because everything is a lie; word count: 1,417.]
Oh, man. I adore this fic as it gives such a tremendous view into Rebecca. She is such a fucked up girl, one who could do the things she has done and still have this desperate yearning to be accepted by the Walkers. It fits especially well in her scene with Nora last night.

* I like the overall arc of Gilmore girls this season, i.e., I was finally able to catch up on all the episodes since the end of January. Seeing them all back to back like that, in one continuous thread, really showed off how well DR is doing. I like that he is actually wrapping up storylines that have been lingering since season one, specifically Lorelai and Christopher. Granted, I ship them - have since "Christopher Returns." However, we finally had a conclusion to their storyline. Somehow I doubt it would have been as neatly done in ASP's hands, simply because she hasn't been able to make a clear choice since mid-way through season two. It's always this back and forth. Then there is Emily. She will always be a bitch, a product of her upbringing and generation, but she's no longer stagnating in this pool of bitchery. There's movement, something approaching progression. Richard's heart attack was just as difficult to sit through as I knew it would be, but I so loved that scene with all four of my beloved Gilmores as they strolled the hospital hallways. It illustrated why I adored them from the word go, even with all the baggage so clearly evident in the pilot episode. I'll conclude my fannish love by saying that I also adore the trajectory of the RoryLogan relationship, and I loved watching Lane and Zack prepare, with massive amounts of grumbling and panicking, for their boys. Oh, and Mrs. Kim, you will always rock hard in my heart. (I can't go near the Anna/April/Luke custody storyline without seeing massive amounts of rageful red, so I'll save myself [and you] by not mentioning it any further.)

* 30 Rock is the most consistently funny and smartest show on network television. I cannot wait until it comes back, which according to my DVR, is this Thursday. I'm enjoying Andy Barker, PI well enough, but it is no 30 Rock.

* Slither is disgusting but oh so funny. Gunn so ably captured all that is fantastic about a good, scary monster movie while putting his own stamp on things. (He named the high school after Fred Ward's character in Tremors, people! One word: AWESOME.) I should also note that Gunn really writes some fantastic females. I loved Tania Saulnier and Elizabeth Banks, especially Banks. She was so fucking kickass as Starla. Plus, Nathan curses up a fucking storm, thereby putting it into automatic classic territory. (I'm shallow, yo.) But then I checked out the extras, all of them (a sure sign I love the film, if I'm checking out even the technical shit), and Nathan is AFUCKINGDORABLE, with his little-boy-like, "You scared the shit out of me!" Seriously, when does Drive start? I need my weekly fix of one Mr. Fillion, thanks. Another thing, the juxtaposition of Gregg Henry in this versus his polished role as Logan's pops on GG is pretty fangirl-inspiring, but then he had me at, "Move the fuck out of the way cocksucker!"

* The Lookout was decent, but not the immediate classic the critics are hailing it to be. JGL was fantastic of course. And pretty. So fucking pretty. It's funny. When he's half-naked (at one point, he wakes up in shorts and no shirt) he looks more solid, but dressed, he looks so fragile, as if I could take him over my knee and break him in half, all vengeful giant like.

* Upon second viewing (went to see it with Mom), Premonition is still as good and affecting, and knowing how it ends, I was able to sit back and pick up all the clues, but then one of the first scenes gives it away. It really reinforced that the "premonitions" are just the McGuffin of the piece.

* I find Paul Walker immensely more attractive when he handles his business like he did in Running Scared. He was capable and BELIEVABLE. (My world is all-askew.) He fucking rocked that part like I haven't seen him rock a part since Joy Ride. He was so gritty and worn around the edges (which makes TONS of sense once you realize what's really going down). Then he starred opposite Vera Farmiga, who played his kickass, take-no-names wife, and I just about died of happiness.

* Brothers & Sisters, how is it you make me laugh fucking out loud one minute, only to have me in tears the next? In short, how you so awesome?

I had other thoughts, but as I predicted, since I didn't write them down, they've fluttered away as so much else has over the last week. Dude, whatever this was I got this time kicked my ass, and then handed my kicked ass back to me, laughing.

Today is Katt's birthday so we're having chili-dogs and chips followed by strawberry cake with ice cream. God, I love hot dogs, but chili dogs OWN MY SOUL. Seriously. The only thing missing is the onions. It really isn't a chili dog without onions. Lots of them. However, we’re a close little office, so I’ll make do without.